This month I went off of my birth control, to try to get my period in sync with the birth control. I was having 2 periods… I know TMI. Anyway I am PMSing right now, far worse then when I am on birth control.
Yesterday we went to Toys R Us to get my husband my son a Batman figure (the new craze in the house). I wandered off by myself and started looking at the girl toys. As I am reminiscing, I stumble upon these:
Thumbelina Barbies! As I am resisting the urge to rip open the package and take a whiff of that new Barbie doll smell, my eyes start to well up with tears. I so desperately want a daughter (welling up again as I write this). I see the joy my husband gets when he gets to relive his childhood through our boys. I want to be able to experience that as well, my uterus just aches when I look at Barbies and pink baby clothes.
We get in the car and I tell my husband (who really wants another child). His first reaction is “lets have another baby”! My PMSing self starts tossing the figures around in my head. I have been adamant that I am done having children. Pregnancy is very hard on me, due to the lack of meds combined with all of the hormones. But here I find my self seriously considering another baby, all because of a Thumbelina Barbie (thanks Mattel). I know now is not the right time, and what if it was another boy ? I cried when I found out Ezra was a boy (sorry baby), can you imagine finding out you were having a third boy? My husband argues that the odds are in my favor, but are they?
Am I alone here? Any other mom’s with only boys, do you feel the same?
On a side note: I also started crying in the Walmart parking lot when I saw a couple my age with one of their mothers buying them groceries. I miss my family so much. Damn PMS!
Please read the update to this post here
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Awwww. Hang in there. I have 3 girls. I so wanted a boy the last time. I would love to watch my husband relive his childhood through a little guy. I hung onto the hope that she was a he right until I took a look at her whoha. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteHow does this help you? I don't know. Hormones are such a powerful thing. I mean they have to be. The existence of our species is dependent on them. Right? And as women we get thrown around like a rag doll in a dryer by those damn things. Seems the most logical, centered person can be thrown off her rocker with one jolt of estrogen.
The whole thing sucks, but I am here to remind you that it will pass. Follow your plan to get yourself in sync. Follow through with that and then reevaluate your desires with a clear head. Your sons and possibly your future daughter will thank you for being so purposeful.
I cried and laughed when I found out I was pregnant with my third boy! I am so sure that I don't want to be pregnant again (horrible hormones!!) and I just know that if I were to try again, it would be another boy. Don't get me wrong, I love my little guys, but lately I have been wanting a little girl! I'd love to put pigtails in her hair, play My Little Ponies, and buy cute little sandals. So, I have started my adoption fund. So far I have 4 cents in it. A penny saved....
ReplyDeleteI can sooo relate. I'm so blessed and thankful that I have my two boys, but I, too, got a little teary eyed when I found out our last was a boy. DH even said it in the US room...silly man. I love my boys to pieces, and I'm sure God knows exactly why He has chosen to bless us with boys and not girls.
ReplyDeleteOn the note of the Barbies and such, I actually gave all the stuff I had been holding on to (cabbage patch preemie, barbie, etc) back to my mom as I now have no need for it. My tubes were tied the morning after I had my 2nd boy. So, nope...don't need all that girly stuff I held on to. I'm even wondering what to do with my wedding gown??? I'm sure any future DIL won't want it. Oh the sadness...but know that God knows what He is doing...that's the only thing that brings me comfort. :)
We had 3 girls and were a little surprised when we found out I was pregnant again. I was soooo sure it was another girl, which would've been fine, but nope, we got our little boy. I know how I'd feel if I didn't have any little girls. I'm close with my mom and hope to be that close to my daughters when they're older. Good luck whatever decision you make.
ReplyDeleteI hear you, lady! I want another baby at some point and I do think I'd be extra excited if it was a girl. I know that in that long run, I'd still be happy to have a third boy, but I hope for a girl...
ReplyDeleteJust some validation for you :)
do it! have another one. I'd love to have 2 boys-this little girl on the way FREAKS me out. I've always said I'd rather have a football team of boys than one girl. but in the end, boy or girl doesn't matter, as long as they are healthy. I'll love them just the same. good luck!
ReplyDeletemmm, look at me...wanted a girl, just one, and ended up with 3 boys. The kicker, of course, is that all of mine are adopted.
ReplyDeleteOur current adoption attempt is limited to girls only...maybe an option for you? I