Crazy Cat Lady Chronicles (part 3)

My mom reminded me that I have not yet finished the saga.

After we saw little paw prints all over our new car, we set the trap that night and placed it right by our car. It started to rain so I pulled the trap up on our front porch. Obviously we didn’t catch a cat that night.

I had forgotten about putting out the trap the following evening. I was sitting watching tv in the evening, and I heard the trap go off. I am thinking it just went off on its own, since the tuna that was in there had been rained on, and was old. I peer outside and there is a nasty cat in the trap, the same one we saw on our car! Those cats are so up in our yard they are on my front porch! Ridiculous.

My husband and I both stare at each other….what should we do? Wait till the morning and call Animal Control? No…she will just go get it out, and it will scratch up our new cars hood, like they did our last car. So we scheme and decide to get rid of the cat..so we will never see it again. No, we didn’t kill it, I am not that crazy!

My husband packs the cat up in our car, and drives, and drives some more. He gets far enough away from our house and releases the cat, into the wild. Seeing as this cat is a feral cat that Crazy Cat Lady takes no ownership for, we have done no wrong, we just relocated it, and we have yet to see that cat again.

About 2 nights after this incident my husband went out with some friends for the evening, and they picked him up, so our car was still in the driveway, and Crazy Cat Lady apparently thought we were asleep. He came home about midnight to find Crazy Cat Lady all up in our yard. She was searching for our trap to steal again! We are not stupid enough to leave it out at night for her to steal once more. So, at this point I am just thinking she is down right nuts, she trespasses, she steals, and she doesn’t take responsibility for her actions. Then it gets even crazier, she leaves us this note.

Wow. So now she is threatening us as well. I really wanted to write her a note back, but I am trying to be the bigger person. If I were to write her a note here is how it would go.

Dear Crazy Cat Lady,

We are not staring at you, we are merely looking for the property you stole out of our yard.

I strongly urge you to keep what is yours (including yourself), in your yard.

I strongly urge you take responsibility for the animals you so dearly love, but do not claim as yours.

I strongly urge you quit stealing things from other peoples yards….. it is illegal.

I strongly urge you stop trespassing…….. it is illegal.

I strongly urge you to get your animals fixed, and quit contributing to the feral cat population.

I strongly urge you seek help for your hoarding disorder, it is affecting more people than just yourself.

I strongly urge you to put all your AIDS cats in your home, or more than one may mysteriously disappear.

Capiche? (you spelled it wrong Crazy Cat Lady)

Sincerely, Your Neighbors

We haven’t made any effort to catch any more cats, but if another one becomes a problem, you can be sure we will.