When you have a child that is diagnosed with cancer, you are immediately struck by the pure randomness of life. There is no system in place, and there is no reason. Life is accidental at best.
Some of you may say, but it is Gods plan. And maybe your right. I will admit I am not a religious person, by any means. But, I like to think that God is a being that can help and heal those that are suffering. I don’t think God is orchestrating disaster, I don’t think God decides one day to give a child cancer, or unleash an earthquake on the impoverished.
I think that is life; raw and unbridled. The unexpected happens every second of every day, to each and every one of us. There are no exceptions, no people freed from life’s happenstance.
It is a breath taking, ear ringing, time stopping realization. To digest the truth that you and your family are not safe from all harm. And, that all too often you are completely helpless from preventing said harm.
This keeps me up at night….
Car crashes, natural disasters, food poisoning, freak accidents, premature death, cancer, and being in the wrong place at the wrong time to name a few.
While I don’t consider myself a worrier, these fragments of thoughts have a way of weaving their way into my mind. Catching me off guard, stealing my breath, and muddling my mind.
Don’t get me wrong, life also is full of beautiful accidents. Babies, meeting the man of your dreams, opportunities, and second chances.
I am oddly grateful for being versed in this life lesson. I stand a little taller, and feel a little less naive. Because believe me, I never in a million years thought this would happen to my family. I ran with the notion that ignorance was bliss.
Even though I may worry more now, and exude more caution in my daily life. I feel more prepared for whatever lies ahead of us.
The unforeseen seems a little more manageable if I admit to its existence.
What keeps you up at night?
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